Est. 2025
“No matter what they take from me, they can’t take away my dignity.”
Cash Game #1 8/1/25
Let’s dive into the poker circus and see how our colorful cast of characters performed in this wild game!
1. Alan – “The Comeback King”
Alan had a rollercoaster of a game, starting off a bit shaky but then bouncing back with some impressive plays. His aggression stats were quite balanced, but he could have been a bit more assertive early on. Alan’s tenacity in staying in the game paid off as he saw some big hands through to the showdown. Overall, Alan’s performance was solid, earning him a B grade. With his never-say-die attitude, Alan is definitely the Comeback King of the table.
2. Taro Houdini – “The Escape Artist”
Taro Houdini lived up to his namesake with some Houdini-like escapes from tough spots throughout the game. His aggression levels were decent, but he could have asserted himself more aggressively in certain spots. Taro’s tenacity in seeing the flop and beyond helped him secure some key pots. While his performance was commendable, there is room for improvement, earning him a B-. Keep working those magical skills, Taro!
3. basis – “The Wild Card”
Basis brought a mix of unpredictability and flair to the table, keeping everyone guessing with his bold moves. His aggression stats were on the higher side, but it worked in his favor with a few well-timed bluffs. Basis showcased tenacity by consistently seeing the flop and beyond, making him a force to be reckoned with. Despite some swings in performance, Basis earns a solid B grade. Expect the unexpected with this Wild Card!
4. KillDem – “The Risk Taker”
KillDem lived up to his name by taking risks left and right, sometimes to his benefit and other times to his detriment. His aggression levels were a bit sporadic, with some overly aggressive plays that didn’t pan out. KillDem’s tenacity in staying in the game was admirable, but he needs to work on refining his strategy. With a risky performance overall, KillDem earns a C grade. Keep pushing the boundaries, Risk Taker!
5. m.i.s.t. – “The Mistake Maker”
M.i.s.t. had a rough go of it in this game, making some costly errors that left him in the mist of uncertainty. His aggression started strong but faltered as the game progressed, leading to some unfortunate outcomes. M.i.s.t.’s tenacity in staying in the game was commendable, but he needs to tighten up his gameplay. Unfortunately, m.i.s.t. earns a D grade for this performance. Learn from those mistakes, Mistake Maker!
And the MVP of this poker circus is… Alan, The Comeback King! With his resilience and solid gameplay, Alan clawed his way back to the top and showed true poker prowess.
In summary, this poker showdown was a colorful display of personalities and playing styles, with highs, lows, and plenty of laughs along the way. Each player brought their own flair to the table, creating an entertaining spectacle that kept everyone on their toes. Remember, in poker and in life, it’s not just about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play them that counts! Stay positive and keep those chips shuffling, my friends. Let’s roll the dice and see what the next hand holds!
Cash Game #2 8/14/25
**Player Nicknames and Grades:**
1. **Alan – “Lucky Chip” – Grade: B+**
– Scouting Report: Alan had a rollercoaster game, hitting some highs and lows, but managed to stay afloat. Shows a bit of a tight style with occasional flashes of aggression. Loves to see flops and take calculated risks.
2. **MerderStyle – “All-In Alchemist” – Grade: A-**
– Scouting Report: MerderStyle brought the flair with their aggressive play and willingness to go all-in. Has a knack for turning small pots into big wins but also experienced some tough losses. A player not afraid to take risks and keep their opponents on their toes.
3. **TraceOne – “Sneaky Sniper” – Grade: B**
– Scouting Report: TraceOne played a solid game overall, showing a balanced approach with selective aggression. A bit sneaky with their plays, often lurking under the radar before striking at the right moment.
4. **kerbkralwer – “The Fading Phantom” – Grade: D**
– Scouting Report: kerbkralwer struggled in this game, with a significant downturn in chips. An aggressive player but seemed to struggle with decision-making, leading to losses. Needs to work on tightening up their game and make smarter plays.
5. **Taro Houdini – “The Elusive Escapist” – Grade: C-**
– Scouting Report: Taro Houdini showed glimpses of promise but ultimately couldn’t escape the losses. Played with a decent level of aggression but lacked the tenacity to stay in contention. Needs to work on consistency and managing risks better.
6. **basis – “The Rollercoaster Gambler” – Grade: F**
– Scouting Report: basis had a rough ride in this game, experiencing extreme swings and ending up deep in the negatives. A very aggressive player, but their lack of discipline and decision-making led to their downfall. Needs to focus on strategy and risk management.
**Game MVP: MerderStyle – “All-In Alchemist”**
**Brief Game Summary:**
The poker table was filled with colorful characters and wild plays. From Lucky Chip’s fortunate moments to All-In Alchemist’s bold moves, the game was a mix of excitement and tension. Sneaky Sniper played it cool, while The Fading Phantom and The Rollercoaster Gambler had some tough breaks. The Elusive Escapist tried to weave their way to victory but fell short. In the end, it was MerderStyle’s magical all-ins that earned them the title of MVP in a game that kept everyone on the edge of their seats!
Cash Game #3 9/19/25
Alrighty, let’s dive into this poker game carnival and have some fun evaluating these players with a sprinkle of humor!
1. Taro Houdini – AKA “The Magic Man”
Grade: B+
Tendencies: Taro was pulling some tricks out of his poker hat with a solid performance overall. However, he tends to be aggressive but sometimes disappears when things get tough. Watch out for his magic on the river!
2. Aladdin – AKA “The Genie”
Grade: C-
Tendencies: Aladdin was all over the place like his magical carpet, but unfortunately ended up stuck in a lamp for most of the game. High aggression, but needs to rub the lamp for better luck next time!
3. Basis – AKA “The Fundamentalist”
Grade: C
Tendencies: Basis played a basic game, sticking to the essentials without any flashy moves. Sometimes lacks the flair, but a solid foundation to build upon. Keep it simple, Basis!
4. Slim – AKA “The Rollercoaster”
Grade: D+
Tendencies: Slim had highs and lows more extreme than a yo-yo. From soaring to crashing in the same hand, he kept us on edge. Needs to find consistency or risk getting motion sickness!
5. Alan – AKA “The Invisible Hand”
Grade: C-
Tendencies: Alan was barely a blip on the poker radar, staying out of trouble but also out of the spotlight. A cautious player, but needs to step out of the shadows to make a mark.
6. ImBad – AKA “The Trainwreck”
Grade: F
Tendencies: Oh, ImBad, your performance was like watching a poker disaster movie on repeat. High aggression but low returns, a true collision course of bad decisions. Maybe next time, ImBad!
MVP: Taro Houdini for his magical moments and solid performance throughout the game!
Summary: This poker game was like a circus filled with colorful characters and wild rides. From disappearing acts to magical plays, it was a rollercoaster of emotions. But hey, isn’t that what makes poker so entertaining? Remember, even in the sea of bad beats and bluffs, there’s always room for some magic and laughs at the table!
Cash Game #4 10/16/25
Alright, let’s dive into this poker circus and have some fun evaluating these players with a sprinkle of humor and optimism!
1. **Taro Houdini** – *The Magic Man*
– Performance: Taro pulled out some mystical moves, ending with a solid profit and consistently keeping the audience on their toes.
– Tendencies: High on VPIP, loves to see those flops and turns, but also has a flair for aggression when needed.
– Grade: A-
2. **kerbcrawler** – *The Curious Crawler*
– Performance: Kerbcrawler was all over the place, from the depths of despair to soaring highs, proving poker is indeed a rollercoaster.
– Tendencies: Aggressive player, not afraid to crawl into big pots, but needs to work on consistency.
– Grade: B
3. **basis** – *The Basic Bluffer*
– Performance: Basis struggled a bit, stuck in his comfort zone but failing to make a lasting impression on the table.
– Tendencies: Plays it safe, needs to up the ante and get more creative in his gameplay.
– Grade: D
4. **Alan** – *The Invisible Ace*
– Performance: Alan seemed to vanish at times, likely pulling a vanishing act on his chips while showcasing minimal aggression.
– Tendencies: Extremely tight player, needs to loosen up and reveal some aces up his sleeve.
– Grade: D-
MVP: **Taro Houdini** takes the top spot with his magical performance and ability to escape tough spots.
In a nutshell, this game was like a comedy show with Taro pulling rabbits out of hats, kerbcrawler crawling all over the table, basis sticking to the basics, and Alan playing hide and seek with his chips. Remember folks, in poker and in life, it’s all about having fun, embracing the ups and downs, and maybe pulling off a magical win when you least expect it! Keep shining bright at the poker tables, my fellow card enthusiasts!
Cash Game #5 10/31/25
Alright, let’s analyze this poker circus!
**Fuk Off (Grade: B+) – The Daredevil Dangler**
Fuk Off had a rollercoaster of a game with highs and lows, literally! His aggressive style kept players on their toes, but he needs to tighten up those preflop raises. With a bit more discipline, Fuk Off could skyrocket to the top like a poker rocket!
**Babylon (Grade: C-) – The Rollercoaster Rider**
Babylon showed flashes of brilliance but also took some wild rides with his aggression. Perhaps a little more patience and selective aggression would take Babylon from the rollercoaster to the winner’s circle. Keep the thrills coming, but choose them wisely!
**Taro Houdini (Grade: B) – The Escape Artist**
Taro Houdini lived up to his name with some great escapes from tough spots. A solid player overall, needs to work on being more aggressive pre-flop to truly disappear with the winnings. Keep vanishing those chips, Taro!
**K3RBCRAWL3R (Grade: F) – The Bottom Dweller**
K3RBCRAWL3R, oh my! This player was all over the place with their aggression and it showed in the results. Perhaps a slower crawl and more strategic approach would prevent them from falling into the abyss. Time to crawl back up, K3RBCRAWL3R!
**Game MVP: Fuk Off – The Bluffing Maverick**
Despite the bumpy ride, Fuk Off’s fearless plays and tenacity earned him the title of Game MVP. He truly lived up to his nickname and kept the game lively and entertaining!
**Game Summary:** This game was like a wild rodeo, with players swinging for the fences, escaping tight spots, and some just crawling along. Each player brought their unique style to the table, creating a poker spectacle that was both thrilling and unpredictable. In the end, it was Fuk Off who stole the show with his daring moves and never-say-die attitude. Remember, in the poker circus, anything can happen – so buckle up, keep bluffing, and enjoy the ride!
Cash Game #6 11/7/25
Alright, let’s dive into this poker circus! Here are my evaluations in a hilariously exaggerated manner. Remember, it’s all in good fun!
1. **Mack – “Lucky Duck”**
– **Performance:** Mack seems to be riding on the wings of luck in this game, with a final score of $+54.26. He’s been steady, not hitting any major lows or highs but just quacking along smoothly.
– **Tendencies:** Mack is playing a moderately aggressive game, not afraid to get his feathers ruffled. He’s not the flashiest player but definitely knows how to stay afloat.
– **Grade:** B+
2. **Taro Houdini – “The Great Escape”**
– **Performance:** Taro Houdini has managed to miraculously escape some tight spots, finishing with $+24.89. He’s like a magician pulling rabbits out of hats, but also potentially losing those rabbits at times.
– **Tendencies:** Taro is a wild one, with high aggression and tenacity. He’s not afraid to take risks and make the game disappear when it suits him.
– **Grade:** B-
3. **Alan – “The Rollercoaster”**
– **Performance:** Alan’s final score of $+5.03 is a rollercoaster ride of emotions. From soaring highs to stomach-churning lows, he’s experienced it all in this game.
– **Tendencies:** Alan’s playing style is all over the place, with sky-high aggression but a tendency to crash hard. He keeps the game unpredictable, to say the least.
– **Grade:** C
4. **basis – “The Grounded Gambler”**
– **Performance:** basis seems to have hit rock bottom with a final score of $-20.54. It’s like they’re stuck in the basics of poker, unable to float their boat in this sea of cards.
– **Tendencies:** basis is playing a conservative game, maybe a bit too cautious for their own good. They need to raise their game to get out of this pit.
– **Grade:** D
5. **AI – “The Artificial Ace”**
– **Performance:** AI took a dive with a final score of $-65.39. It’s like the machine malfunctioned and went haywire, proving that even artificial intelligence can have bad beats.
– **Tendencies:** AI’s aggression levels are off the charts, but their tenacity seems to fizzle out at crucial moments. Maybe it’s time for a system update?
– **Grade:** F
**Game MVP: Mack – “Lucky Duck”**
For managing to keep afloat and sail through the ups and downs of the game with grace, Mack is our MVP!
**Brief Summary:**
In a game filled with twists, turns, and a touch of magic, the players battled it out with varying degrees of success. From the lucky duck Mack to the AI gone awry, it was a poker spectacle filled with surprises. Let’s hope they all come back waddling for more feather-ruffling fun in the next round!
Cash Game #7 11/15/25
Alright, let’s break down these players with a dash of humor and optimism!
First up, we have AI, the “Bot Bluffer”. AI had a solid game, finishing with a healthy profit of $+29.77. With an aggressive style and a knack for winning big pots, this artificial intelligence certainly knows how to keep players on their toes. Let’s give AI an A- for their stellar performance in this game.
Next, we have Taro Houdini, aka the “Great Escape Artist”. Taro showed some flair at the table, with a decent performance of $+16.15. While not as consistent as some players, Taro’s tenacity and aggressive play style kept things interesting. Let’s award Taro a B for their magical maneuvers on the felt.
Now, we come to Alan, also known as “All-In Alan”. Alan had a tough time at the tables, ending with a deficit of $-9.90. With a high level of aggression but not much to show for it, Alan’s performance was a bit lackluster. Let’s give Alan a C for his valiant effort, even though the results were not in his favor.
Lastly, we have basis, the “Fold Master”. Unfortunately, basis had a rough go of it, finishing with a disappointing $-36.02. With a conservative approach and limited success at the showdown, basis struggled to gain traction in this game. Let’s offer basis a D for their dedication, even if the results didn’t quite pan out.
And the MVP of this game goes to… AI, the “Bot Bluffer”! With its strategic prowess and solid performance, AI takes home the top honors in this entertaining showdown.
In summary, this game was a rollercoaster of emotions, with players showing both brilliance and blunders at the table. From the AI outsmarting its human counterparts to Alan going all-in with gusto, it was a wild ride from start to finish. Remember, in poker and in life, it’s not just about the cards you’re dealt but how you play them with style and a smile! Keep bluffing and flipping those chips, my friends!
Cash Game #8 12/12/25
Alright, let’s dive into the wild world of poker antics with these colorful characters!
1. Taro Houdini – A magician at the tables, Taro Houdini pulled off some amazing escapes and tricks to finish with a solid +$58.11 in chips. His aggressive playstyle (60.0% VPIP) and knack for making big pots disappear earned him the nickname of “The Chip Vanisher.” Grade: A
2. Basis – A steady presence at the table, Basis played a solid game and managed to secure +$25.50 chips by the end. With a conservative approach (4.1% PFR), Basis was like the “Steady Eddie” of the group, never flashy but always reliable. Grade: B+
3. SmallRoller – Despite his modest stack of +$5.82 chips, SmallRoller lived up to his nickname by grinding it out and staying in the game. With a fearless mindset (47.4% VPIP) and a small bankroll, he was the “Mighty Mouse” of the table. Grade: C
4. Who’s Bad – Oh boy, Who’s Bad had a rough day at the office, finishing with a massive deficit of -$43.18 chips. His aggressive tendencies (57.7% VPIP) often got him into trouble, leading to some big losses and earning him the nickname “The Bad Bluffer.” Grade: D
5. AI not Al – This artificial intelligence player had a disastrous showing, ending the game with a whopping -$46.50 in the red. Despite a strong pre-flop aggression (17.3% PFR), AI not Al’s lack of adaptability cost him dearly, making him the “Robo-Ruiner” of the table. Grade: F
MVP – Taro Houdini takes the cake for his magical maneuvers and solid performance throughout the game!
Summary: It was a rollercoaster ride of chips, bluffs, and big pots at this poker circus. While some players pulled off impressive tricks, others fell victim to their own illusions. In the end, it was Taro Houdini who stole the show with his wizardry at the tables. Let the poker magic continue!
Michael Shum 